Thursday, September 2, 2010

Parenting Skills I've Acquired While Working at Borders

Working retail is no picnic, but it is teaching me a lot of things about life. We get a lot of parents with their kids in the store on a daily basis. We have a great kids section that draws them there. However, I've noticed that it's usually the lazy parents that bring their kids in. Or, on a dark note, most parents are lazy. Either way, here is a list of parenting skills I've learned from these parents.

1. It's completely okay to wheel in a screaming kid in their stroller. It doesn't matter if it's nap time and the poor thing just wants to be at home in bed. What is important is that I'm shopping while the kid is stuck, screaming, in the stroller. Also, no one else cares about the noise.

2. Letting my child wander around the store unattended while I sit in the cafe jabbering on the phone is fine. They can entertain themselves, break stuff, and get kidnapped by some crazy person who walks into the store.

3. If my child breaks something, just put it back on the shelf and walk away. Better yet, just leave it on the floor like it belongs there.

4. To get my child to listen, I just repeat myself over and over again without even looking at them. They'll eventually listen.

5. If my child is throwing a fit while at the register, I just buy them a wind-up toy or candy to shut them up even though I'm positively reinforcing a bad behavior.


Honestly, every time I see things like this happen, it makes me not want kids. I can't deal with a snot-nosed brat. But, then again, those kids are the way they are because their parents made them that way.

"That's all I have to say about that." -Forrest Gump