2012: A Year in Review

2012 is coming to a close already and I'm still a horrible blogger. :) I've come to realize that I don't normally write in a journal (which I have on my nightstand) or blog unless I'm not happy. I did write a few posts about cooking and food and running, but I usually feel the urge to write when I'm feeling blue.

While I do like the color blue, I've moved more into a deep purple this year, I feel. 2011 was not a good year for me, but from the get-go 2012 has been amazing! I have been so blessed that I feel like this good vibe I've been riding may fizzle out next year. However, I'm working hard to not let that happen.

2012 started out in Austin with some dear friends! I enjoyed my job as a special ed assistant at an elementary school and grew to love the kids there and made some new friends. I moved into a new apartment that was not so great (but living on my own again was exciting!) and then had a summer off. I already blogged about how I felt like someone broke up with me those first few days. I wasn't sure what the future held and I missed going to work everyday.

Summer started and I began to hang out with some Borders friends who lived in the same apartment complex. We'd meet at the pool often.

I went on several job interviews in Victoria, TX (a two hour drive each time) and luckily the last time paid off! I was offered a job at the interview table, told them I'd think about it and get back to them, and then my muffler completely separates from the rest of it. I call the Fine Arts director of my current district to ask how long it would take to hear back from the principal I just interviewed with that morning because I was just offered a job in Victoria (?!?!). I drive to a muffler shop, they fix it FOR FREE!! and my current principal calls to offer me the job in San Antonio! I also get another job offer from a different Victoria school while sitting in the muffler shop. This was all on my best friend's birthday so we all got to celebrate together. The muffler is still going strong, by the way, from a free welding job.

So... my summer continues, this time completely worry-free. I swim, sleep, and learn to play tennis from a cool guy named Patrick. I guess all the swimming and tennis paid off because we started dating in July. :)

I worked at the Witte museum for three weeks with their summer adventure camp and had a blast with all of the kids and spending a ton of time in the new part of the museum. I'm glad I had that job because it gave me something to do for part of the summer and the paycheck tied me over until my first teacher paycheck in September. The district is on a once a month pay schedule so that's been interesting.

Summer ends and my new adventure as a middle school Theatre Arts teacher begins! After a week and a half of cleaning, my classroom is perfect! I'm still learning as I go and I've been blessed with great colleagues at a great school. I've had so much fun at work, even though I put in 10-11 hour days. I wake up excited to get to my classroom and play Theatre games or get out props and set pieces with the students. I'm still getting the hang of 7th and 8th graders, and they are still getting used to having a Theatre teacher that is always present and prepared, but it'll be even better next semester. I have the freedom to shape my courses for next year and One Act Play will be awesome!

Before Christmas I moved into a much better apartment with a HUGE kitchen. Sleeping in silence has been great for my stress levels, too! Also, living in a place that doesn't smell like cigarette smoke has been amazing. Sassy enjoys it; she's not sick all the time anymore.

2012 was amazing and refreshing and hopefully my hard work carries into 2013. I have One Act Play competition coming up, another half marathon, and summer vacation! Oh, and time with the boyfriend, of course.

Everything works out in due time. A hard lesson to learn.

Happy 2013, y'all!

End of an era?

As the school year comes to a close, I've begun to reflect on the past few months. They always seem to go by so fast, which tells me that I'm in the right field of work. It doesn't seem like the year should be over already as I feel like I just started. But October really was a long time ago.

Since then, I've been in several different classrooms and got to know nearly every student in the school. I've learned so much from each teacher that I've worked with, as they each have their own teaching style that works. They have no idea how much they taught me while they were teaching their students. I've also made several friendships among the staff, which I consider a blessing. I know not everyone is able to work with people they consider friends.

Last year, I was teaching high school students. This year, I worked with elementary students and loved it. I have made a great connection with a few of them, and I will never forget them. They, too, have taught me so much about being an educator and mentor to young people.

I don't know where I'll be next year, but if the past is any clue, I know that I will be changing lives and learning more about myself and the world around me in the process. The hard part is trusting that everything will work out and my dreams will come true with my hard work. Isn't that the way it's supposed to go?

Musings on Love

"Miss, how old were you when you first fell in love?" a fifth grade boy asks me at lunch today, because of course, he is in love with a girl. In fifth grade. I answered him honestly and said, "I was 22 years old when I first fell in love."

"Are you still together?" he asks.

"No, he's married," I reply.

"Oh, that's not fair for you."

Oh, children! Their brutal honesty catches me off guard, and makes me laugh nearly every time. Love is so simple for them, but yet so complicated. So and so likes her, but she likes so and so, he said she said, blah blah blah. Little do they know that it gets more complicated as they get older. You can be head over heels in love, ready to take that walk down the aisle to your future, and the next day it's completely gone and everything you thought you knew is wrong. There are things in my past that I still don't understand, and I'm really not sure I will, and I've learned to live with that and move on. Love is such a tricky thing, though, when all I can think about is my career. I can see my window of opportunity shutting right in front of me for the third year in a row. I really don't have time or energy to be chasing down love.

I think being alone is not an issue for me. I've been alone, in a relationship sense, nearly all of my life. I actually think that's what killed my one and only relationship. I'm so content and used to being with myself that I have no idea how to let someone else in. I could go see a shrink about this, but I figure that once I get my career situated, these things will just iron themselves out when I meet the right man. All of the little things will just disappear, and then I'll know he's the one.

At least that's what I thought last time.

A Year in Review

2011.

I don't know what to say about an entire year of my life.

Let's see if I can figure this out.

The year started off great with a long term subbing job in my field. However, I was just thrown into it without any idea on how long I'd be doing the job for, no extra pay for the length, keys, or technology to input grades, make lesson plans, etc. I pretty much just flew by the seat of my pants, with the help of my colleague who had to work his butt off to keep the department going through UIL. (He did a stand-up job, by the way)

Spring break: I planted my first vegetable garden and it starts to grow!
Running: Overslept my first race, made a comeback with the Missions 10k and was slow. Hey, it was humid.

Things look promising.

Then the heat of the summer hits.
It stops raining in Texas.
The heat climbs higher.

I don't get the theatre teaching job. By this point, very little to no teaching jobs are open. Fail.

Still no rain.

Borders declares it's going out of business. The unbearable craziness of liquidation takes over.

Things are quickly rolling down hill.

I stop running because I'm too tired from working with crazy customers and douche bag liquidator. I eat and drink wine instead. Lots of wine.

My garden stops growing. Fail.

Borders dies in September.

I've lost two jobs in the span of three months.

Subbing picks up and I soon learn how much I hate it. At least at the high schools, anyway. There are actually TONS of things to do as an elementary sub. I start to like that more.

In October, a job as an Instructional Assistant for Special Ed falls into my lap. Not much of a pay raise at all, but the job is awesome. Things start to look up for a while, but I'm still unable to support myself financially.

Not even close. What is going on? I'm almost 28 years old!

I run the Wurst 5 Miler 2 minutes slower than last year. Disappointing, since I wanted to PR, but considering the summer I had, I'm happy. Running is back, until I get sick from allergies before Thanksgiving.

Things come to a close in a dull way. I'm not excited about how 2011 went AT ALL. I don't know what it is about odd years, but they really do suck. Now I need to spend the first part of 2012 getting everything back to the way I want it, physically and emotionally. I need to work even harder to get the job I want. I can't have another year like this one.


As my friends get engaged, married, and have babies, I look at myself and think, "How am I not even close to being ready for all of that?" A graduate degree gets you nowhere in this world. Potential gets you nowhere in this world. That's all I have right now: potential. Potential to be the best teacher, potential to lose the extra weight I gained during the summer from hell, potential to meet the right guy. I feel like I'm on the edge of something and I've been standing here for way too long. It's time to find a bridge or just jump in!

Why 2012 Will Be Hellofalot Better Than 2011

1. I will get back in shape. Just Dance 3 will get me there whether I like it or not! I WILL run another half marathon, too.

2. I WILL land that teaching job. I don't care where it is or what it is, but I WILL get a full time, salaried job, and SUPPORT MYSELF. Isn't that the American Dream? Why are so many hardworking, honest Americans being denied that?

3. Dating. This is scary stuff, but I'm going back out there again. I don't know how, but I will. If any of you have Aaron Rodgers phone number, tell him to give me a call. That will make things go a lot easier.

4. Have more fun, stress less, love more. I'm almost 30; I can't be stressing most of the time! Life is not worth the stress.

That's it.
2011 sucked and I'm extremely glad to see it end! ADIOS!!

Getting Rid of Summer

Hello, all!

It seems that I have put myself on yet another diet. However, this time, I'm seeing this as a way to shed the incredibly crappy summer I've had and start over. I've got a new job on the horizon (hopefully!) and new PRs to run at races this coming winter. Time to get back at it! Want to know what I'm doing? I'm simply counting calories (auuuuuuggggggghhhh!) and working out 4-5 times a week. I know this works; the Biggest Loser contestants to do it on a much larger scale (pun intended) but I don't need to lose as much as them. Most diets these days make you eat crazy things when it's all about calorie intake and output. I've been making sure I stay around 1200 calories consumed per day (one day a week I treat myself to 1400!) and getting on the treadmill after school. I pack a gym back that morning and have it with me in the car on the way home. I know that if I go straight home I will not want to go back out that door! (And I just discovered that the newest and final season of "Friday Night Lights" is on Netflix!) I've been doing this for one week and already I've lost two pounds! I want to see how many I can shoot for by Christmas. 15-20 would be nice and would put my BMI far into the healthy range instead of straddling the overweight line. I already sleep better at night and have more energy to teach those kindergartners when I sub!

Here's a recipe that I want to share with y'all. Just a little somethin' that I cooked up out of my own brain! Enjoy and leave feedback! :)


Kasey's White Wine Stewed Tomato Spaghetti (Linguine)
Serves 1 (sometimes with leftovers!)

This is a favorite of mine to make during the week. It takes some time (boil the noodles, stew the tomatoes) but it's worth the wait!

1 cup tomatoes (I've used cherry, off the vine, and roma)
1 serving (2.5 oz) whole wheat linguine or spaghetti noodles
1/2 tbsp EVOO (shout out to Rachel Ray!)
lemon juice to taste
1/4 glass of white wine (or less, depending on your taste- less calories, too.)
1/4 cup of shredded mozzarella
fresh basil to taste
salt and pepper to taste

Set one large pot of water on high to boil.
Cut up tomatoes to desired size (I usually half the cherries and quarter the romas) and place in a medium pan with EVOO on medium high heat. (Sometimes I add mushrooms here, too. Low calorie!) Boil pasta according to the package. When tomatoes reach heat, add salt, pepper, lemon juice, and white wine. Stew for 10-15 minutes. (or less if you like the raw taste of tomatoes in your pasta dish). Remove from heat. Strain noodles. Chop up basil, sprinkle in tomato mixture. Serve on top of noodles. Add cheese and serve!

Calories: 350 (388 with mushrooms)

We're All Going Crazy

In my years of working retail, I've come to believe that our brains just shut off when we walk through the threshold of a retail environment. I must say that Borders took pride in our customer service, and really, we spoiled all of you. We used to come up and ask if we could find something for you, type it in the computer for you, walk you to the section, and put the book in your hands. If we couldn't do that, then we'd walk you through the online purchasing process.

Since liquidation, we can do none of this. Our stores are a mess. Nothing is where it should be. And people are pissed.

I've had several people become upset over the fact that we can't look up books, we can't take checks, and we can't accept returns or exchanges. That's understandable to a degree. However, a few days ago a woman flipped out when I told her we can't hold items. I mean, she flipped completely off her handle. Things got so out of hand that we had to call the police. There was a few hours where we all feared for our lives. We had no idea what she or her crazy family were going to do to us. The crazy thing is, it was over THINGS! Merchandise. It is now human nature to threaten lives of people in order to get THINGS. Really?

The whole time I was defending her in my head. Maybe she has a mental illness and skipped her pills. Maybe I was going through the motions at the register and not paying attention to how agitated she was becoming until it was too late. Maybe... it wasn't my fault at all and sometimes people just flip out for no reason. And for that reason it's a sad, sad world.

I don't want a job that I fear. Working at a bookstore should not be scary. But, then again, we sell blankets, perfume, make-up, and games. We're not really a bookstore anymore. We sell things "cheap" for the people who want but can't afford to want. It's a sad, sad world.

As I get ready to sleep and wake to another day at the store, I send out a little prayer that people will be understanding, that we as employees will have patience, and no one will get hurt.

And hey, it rained the other day, so maybe it's not such a sad world after all.

Liquidation: We're All Going to Need Therapy

Liquidation sucks.

Let me expand on that: Liquidation sucks for employees.

To me, Borders was over the day liquidation started. We had no idea what was going to happen, but we did not anticipate the complete madness that ensued. That first Friday, the discount was only 10% but we were hammered all day long. Our normal sales goal was blown out the roof, even for Christmas standards. As we locked the doors that night, I had to fight back tears. The wreckage was unbelievable. From that day on, the store was unrecognizable. Our customers are not the same. Now we have "bargain hunters", mostly people who have never set foot in a bookstore but want great deals. These people do not care if they open merchandise and then throw it on the floor. These people have to touch everything in sight or it's not real. These people don't do math, so the constant question is, "How much is this?"

To cope with all of this, our team has bonded like I never thought we could. Instead of quitting on the spot or backstabbing each other, we've grouped together to get through this. We have rubber band fights and build forts. We blew up all the balloons in the story time supply closet and put them in our GM's office. We push each other around on carts and laugh until we can't breathe. We put random Star Wars sound effects on the overhead. We made our own mixed CDs with REM ("It's the end of the world as we know it!") and SemiSonic ("Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.") We dance to *NSYNC out on the floor for customers to see and laugh when they don't even care. Most of all, we lean on each other for job hunting and career advise. I have some really great co-workers, and the end of Borders will mean the end of a great team. I don't know if I'll find a workplace like this again, but I hope it's out there.

My current plan is as follows: substitute teaching (again...) while I work my way into the Peace Corps. My recruiter is working with me to put together the perfect application, which is refreshing. Instead of a rejection, someone wants to give me a try! There is light at the end of this tunnel. While I wished for two years to find a full time teaching job here in Texas, it seems that Texas doesn't want me. I'm meant for bigger and better things. When I return from overseas, I hope to continue my education and pursue my doctorate degree in theatre history or theatre education. After putting this "plan" together, the future doesn't seem so scary anymore.

I'll close with a recent quote by a customer in response to the fact that we can no longer use computers to look up books: "You mean I actually have to look on the shelf??!!"